Pretty much what it says, but a few relevant details inside. I understand that it may not be my place to recommend this to my parents, but would like to have this handy just in case. Also, I know one or both of my parents should ask their physician(s) about this. I'm not even sure if couples / marriage counseling is the most relevant but the geriatric part definitely is. Nothing special here, but I would like a recommendation from a Mefite rather than just Googling someone at Yale.
Parents are getting old. They've been married over 50 years. Sometimes happily--sometimes not. Their health is deteriorating. My mom's long term health problems mean that she is becoming more and more reliant on my dad and much faster than either of them expected. He's doing a pretty good job but it is getting to him. They are struggling with dependence independence, being honest about their actual health with me and my sibling and with each other. Sometimes there is resentment that comes out in bad ways. All of this stuff is pretty much entirely normal. Right? Getting old sucks and care giving can be hard.
I live far away and see them about once a year. When I was back recently it was really good. They seemed pretty good too, but a bit on their best behavior. My sib who is closer so their visit is less of an "event" maybe sees the rough edges a bit more. They commented on the phone that they "just need help figuring out how to cope with this stuff and maybe help remembering to be good to each other sometimes".
So, a therapist, counselor, or geriatric specialist who covers that stuff not the physiological seems in order. They have all of the regular dermatology, cardio, oncology, rheumatology stuff well covered. No Alzheimer's or dementia. Just the usual memory issue that older people often have. They've been evaluated and have good regular medical care consistently. One doctor has suggested the Dorothy Adler Geriatric Assessment Center at Yale, especially regarding sleep, but they haven't gone yet. Going to keep bringing that one up once in a while when appropriate.
Know anybody really good? Thank you. New Haven, Middletown, Clinton area.
PS: I really do know that this is their issue and I hesitate to get involved at all, so no need to come tell me to butt out. But if there is an opening )and there may be, dad recently opened up just a tiny tiny bit about how hard it all is) I would like to have the info at the ready.
Parents are getting old. They've been married over 50 years. Sometimes happily--sometimes not. Their health is deteriorating. My mom's long term health problems mean that she is becoming more and more reliant on my dad and much faster than either of them expected. He's doing a pretty good job but it is getting to him. They are struggling with dependence independence, being honest about their actual health with me and my sibling and with each other. Sometimes there is resentment that comes out in bad ways. All of this stuff is pretty much entirely normal. Right? Getting old sucks and care giving can be hard.
I live far away and see them about once a year. When I was back recently it was really good. They seemed pretty good too, but a bit on their best behavior. My sib who is closer so their visit is less of an "event" maybe sees the rough edges a bit more. They commented on the phone that they "just need help figuring out how to cope with this stuff and maybe help remembering to be good to each other sometimes".
So, a therapist, counselor, or geriatric specialist who covers that stuff not the physiological seems in order. They have all of the regular dermatology, cardio, oncology, rheumatology stuff well covered. No Alzheimer's or dementia. Just the usual memory issue that older people often have. They've been evaluated and have good regular medical care consistently. One doctor has suggested the Dorothy Adler Geriatric Assessment Center at Yale, especially regarding sleep, but they haven't gone yet. Going to keep bringing that one up once in a while when appropriate.
Know anybody really good? Thank you. New Haven, Middletown, Clinton area.
PS: I really do know that this is their issue and I hesitate to get involved at all, so no need to come tell me to butt out. But if there is an opening )and there may be, dad recently opened up just a tiny tiny bit about how hard it all is) I would like to have the info at the ready.