I'm going through a lot right now: new job, moving to a new city, AND my 74 year-old mother has been hospitalized since last week. From talks with her doctors and nurses, it really seems like she'll be ending up in some sort of assisted living facility. I'm moving in a WEEK and my head is spinning, I don't know where to begin. In particular, I'm worried about the money aspect of it all. First of all, we're located in Alberta, Canada.
honestly, my mother probably SHOULD be in an assisted living facility (or supported living, as Alberta Health Services calls them). She's been unwell (particularly mentally) for a long time. I would say that my mother, due to years of neglecting her health, is an OLD 74. She's not a senior who goes out and does stuff, she's pretty much become a recluse, doesn't visit with people, doesn't do her errands, barely does housekeeping/chores, etc.
Everything has been so sudden, though, that I don't know what decisions I should make. Knowing that she's also safe and in a facility would allow me to live my life without worrying about her so much... but there are sooooo many things I'm worried about, but two in particular stick out. The hospital is going to have a geriatric physician conduct a capacity test on her, if she passes (which I doubt) I guess she'll be able to make her decisions and this is all a waste of time, but if she doesn't... I'm her next of kin and become her decision maker. Part of me, would honestly consider let her stay in the house, under the condition that she gets homecare, BUT ugh that would probably be a bad choice.
A) Her house. If she's put into an assisted living facility, what am I supposed to do about her house. Would it be okay if I don't sell it IMMEDIATELY? I'm moving out of our current city for just under 1-year. I was planning on driving in visiting my mother every 2 weeks anyway, so I would have been staying at the house. This is something I would probably still be doing to a) visit her and b) see friends/hobbies, etc., so I'd be staying in the house when I visit. I can ask a friend or two to check on the house when I'm out of town. My mom's neighbour leaves the country during the winter-time, so I can ask him how he does it (or just figure out what other snowbirds do).
This home is my childhood home and there's A LOT of my stuff there too, because I'm moving to a town for just 1-year i'm only renting a room, so I cannot bring everything with me anyway. When I'm back in town after 1-year, I think I could begin to go through the house, sort everything, organize any needed repairs/upgrades, and then look into selling it. Eventually, it would have to be sold (I'm sure) to cover her costs in assisted living. I just feel like I have no time to process this and I can't imagine IMMEDIATELY selling the house. The thought of also selling the house as-is and getting a really poor price for it, when we could do moderate repairs/renovations and "increase" the value also kind of worries me.
2) Her money. Assisted living is sooooo expensive. She has CPP/OAS (about $1270 combined (she gets her CPP pre-taxed for some reason), an ok amount of savings+ RIF (about $400K-ish), her home could probably be sold for maybe around $315K with some repairs (who knows, the housing market right now isn't that hot). With that in mind she does have an ok amount of money, not rich or wealthy by any means.
I can't even BEGIN to figure out the costs of supportive living, or what kind of facility they'd refer her to (public or private). It sounds like a room could cost her anywhere from $2500 to $8000 a month! On the low end with her pension and savings she could do pretty well. In the middle if the facility cost around $4000/mo w/ her pension she could live there for about 11 years (longer if she sells the house). However, at a higher end... WTF... with her pension included, she'd have enough for maaaaybe 5 years? And then 3 more with the sale of her house? What the HELL would she do if she ran out of money!? Who knows where I'd be in 8 years career wise, or life-wise. I'm freaking out. There's no organized place I can go to research these costs. It would probably be cheaper to get a shared room, I suppose, so that's one option.
I know that in the US in certain states Medicaid will pay for a senior to live in a facility if they've spent their assets. That's not something that happens in Canada. I guess if all of her money is spent on care for her... she could get the Guaranteed Income Supplement (GIS) in addition to her CPP/OAS, but then what? It doesn't sound like there are facilities for low-income seniors, or if there are I have NO IDEA where to find info about them. Who knows if these facilities will even exist in Alberta due to the shitshow that's going on with the provincial budget for the next 4 years. This might sound awful, but what if assisted living perks her up and she likes it and she gets healthier... I'm sure she'll live for longer, if that's the case, but how would she pay for it all?
What if I have no money to support her?
This has been all I'm thinking about since she's been in the hospital. I've been barely able to even plan for MY OWN move and my new job or anything, because everything is so uncertain.
I know no one can predict the future, but holy shit, how can I plan for this and not lose my mind?
honestly, my mother probably SHOULD be in an assisted living facility (or supported living, as Alberta Health Services calls them). She's been unwell (particularly mentally) for a long time. I would say that my mother, due to years of neglecting her health, is an OLD 74. She's not a senior who goes out and does stuff, she's pretty much become a recluse, doesn't visit with people, doesn't do her errands, barely does housekeeping/chores, etc.
Everything has been so sudden, though, that I don't know what decisions I should make. Knowing that she's also safe and in a facility would allow me to live my life without worrying about her so much... but there are sooooo many things I'm worried about, but two in particular stick out. The hospital is going to have a geriatric physician conduct a capacity test on her, if she passes (which I doubt) I guess she'll be able to make her decisions and this is all a waste of time, but if she doesn't... I'm her next of kin and become her decision maker. Part of me, would honestly consider let her stay in the house, under the condition that she gets homecare, BUT ugh that would probably be a bad choice.
A) Her house. If she's put into an assisted living facility, what am I supposed to do about her house. Would it be okay if I don't sell it IMMEDIATELY? I'm moving out of our current city for just under 1-year. I was planning on driving in visiting my mother every 2 weeks anyway, so I would have been staying at the house. This is something I would probably still be doing to a) visit her and b) see friends/hobbies, etc., so I'd be staying in the house when I visit. I can ask a friend or two to check on the house when I'm out of town. My mom's neighbour leaves the country during the winter-time, so I can ask him how he does it (or just figure out what other snowbirds do).
This home is my childhood home and there's A LOT of my stuff there too, because I'm moving to a town for just 1-year i'm only renting a room, so I cannot bring everything with me anyway. When I'm back in town after 1-year, I think I could begin to go through the house, sort everything, organize any needed repairs/upgrades, and then look into selling it. Eventually, it would have to be sold (I'm sure) to cover her costs in assisted living. I just feel like I have no time to process this and I can't imagine IMMEDIATELY selling the house. The thought of also selling the house as-is and getting a really poor price for it, when we could do moderate repairs/renovations and "increase" the value also kind of worries me.
2) Her money. Assisted living is sooooo expensive. She has CPP/OAS (about $1270 combined (she gets her CPP pre-taxed for some reason), an ok amount of savings+ RIF (about $400K-ish), her home could probably be sold for maybe around $315K with some repairs (who knows, the housing market right now isn't that hot). With that in mind she does have an ok amount of money, not rich or wealthy by any means.
I can't even BEGIN to figure out the costs of supportive living, or what kind of facility they'd refer her to (public or private). It sounds like a room could cost her anywhere from $2500 to $8000 a month! On the low end with her pension and savings she could do pretty well. In the middle if the facility cost around $4000/mo w/ her pension she could live there for about 11 years (longer if she sells the house). However, at a higher end... WTF... with her pension included, she'd have enough for maaaaybe 5 years? And then 3 more with the sale of her house? What the HELL would she do if she ran out of money!? Who knows where I'd be in 8 years career wise, or life-wise. I'm freaking out. There's no organized place I can go to research these costs. It would probably be cheaper to get a shared room, I suppose, so that's one option.
I know that in the US in certain states Medicaid will pay for a senior to live in a facility if they've spent their assets. That's not something that happens in Canada. I guess if all of her money is spent on care for her... she could get the Guaranteed Income Supplement (GIS) in addition to her CPP/OAS, but then what? It doesn't sound like there are facilities for low-income seniors, or if there are I have NO IDEA where to find info about them. Who knows if these facilities will even exist in Alberta due to the shitshow that's going on with the provincial budget for the next 4 years. This might sound awful, but what if assisted living perks her up and she likes it and she gets healthier... I'm sure she'll live for longer, if that's the case, but how would she pay for it all?
What if I have no money to support her?
This has been all I'm thinking about since she's been in the hospital. I've been barely able to even plan for MY OWN move and my new job or anything, because everything is so uncertain.
I know no one can predict the future, but holy shit, how can I plan for this and not lose my mind?